Family connexion #2 : Fabienne.
To continue the ‘Family connexion”s series we started last month with the Parisian nanny Caroline, let’s interview a psychologist working in a maternity. Fabienne Sardas had been working in a maternity for 15 years to help pregnant women to deal with their pregnancy and their new mother status. Sure that this interview will talk to you…
How did it come to your mind to become a psychologist and work in a maternity?
At the beginning of my professional path, I was a a case worker. I was interested in psychology but I passed my psychology diploma 20 years later, in 1998. I started working as a psychologist in 2001, continuing first my previous job in parallel. I started working in the Parisian Diaconesses maternity first as a trainer, then as a tenure holder. I worked there till 2014.
What did your job consist of?
At the beiginning, I was helping pregnant women to deal with their fears and apprehensions about becoming a mother.
Then, in 2007, I started working on perinatal death. I created a group on this theme with Cécile de Clermont from Petite Emilie’ association. There, we welcomed parents who had to deal with their children’s death (in utero or during their first months of life). This group stopped in 2012, but I still welcome parents in my private office.
To what extent is maternity a particular moment?
Pregnancy is an intense moment which revives all a woman’s life structure, even elements that seem to be rather stable. It’s also the moment when a woman becomes an adult for real. Women who now think they can control their own life are completly destabilized by this new situation. This process is getting all the more intense as women are getting pregnant older and older.
Among these women, some have deep traumatisms, come from long and difficult processes to get pregnant, or have already lost one child before…
Can you tell us good memories during your work in the maternity?
When a family who’s already lost a baby manages to have a new one is an intense moment for me! I slighlty have the impression to participate to this wonderful birth!
I’ve also met wonderful women who helped me to construct my own femininity! Women who were brave and didn’t hesitate to expose their body to have a baby! I deeply admire them! …
I also love theses new dads who don’t have an easy role today : they must be a link between mother and child, but in the meantime, …a separator!
What moments were more difficult for you during your work in a maternity?
To see pregnant women on who men exert physical or psychological pressure to become pregnant (repudiation, or even rape,…)
What would you advise to future parents?
- Watch other parents to learn how to deal with a newborn. Be with them an entire day to know their real life. Today, media don’t talk about real parent’s life. For instance, you don’t even see a woman breastfeeding her child in a public space…
- Then, realise that having a baby is above all GIVING : education, love, time, yourself!… WIthout reciprocity!
- To finish, parents have to realize that they will enter a new life and that each parents’life is different the one from the other. ***
Many thanks to Fabienne Sardas for this deep and sincere interview !
Fabienne has participated to the elaboration of Accompagner le deuil périnatal, a French book by Cécile de Clermont and Jeanne Rey. She will soon publish her own book about maternity.
See you soon to talk about a great new boy’s fashion brand!
Have a lovely day,