Family connexion #3 : Cécile.
Today, we meet Cecile in our Family Connexion’s section. This mother of three teaches parents how to better communicate and behave with their kids, following Faber and Mazlish methods.
How did it come to your mind to learn Faber and Mazlish’s communication methods?
When my son was 3, a friend of mine talked to me about Faber and Mazlish workshops tooking place in my own town : ” How to talk so kids will listen”. I immediately thought it was for me! I had a little boy with a strong will and sometimes I had the impression that he was my ennemy… I couldn’t bear it much…
I read Faber and Mazlish books, I went to workshops and, progresively, our relationships calmed down : less crisis, more communication…
What’s the method in a few words ?
Adele Faber et Elaine Mazlish, two American women, had elaborated a method inspired by the psychologist Haim Ginott, 40 years ago, relying on understanding and empathy towards kids while fixing limits. You can find their method in two bestseller books : Liberated Parents, Liberated children and How to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk that give examples, comics and summary sheets. It gives great help to restore family harmony and to give self-confidence to kids.
And you, as a trainer, what do you do?
I teach workshops that permit to deal with Faber and Mazlish theories in depth. At the beginning of the session, parents talk about how they deal with their daily life. Then we study some comics, we make some exercices and we talk together … What is the most important may be sharing our problems and feeling that we’re not alone!
What do you like in this activity?
I love meeting parents and talking with them. I also like feeling useful to other people. Thanks to these workshops, I’ve met wonderful other volunteer trainers in our friendly and dynamic worpshops’ association : Parents à l’écoute. http://parentsalecoute.fr/
In what ways would you say this method is good for both parents and children?
This method doesn’ t make parents feel guilty : “liberated parents, liberated children”! You can say to your kids : ” I don’t like the way you behave, you’re getting on my nerves!” Sometimes you just need to say to that to calm down your kids. It’s not that easy for parents because we haven’t been raised with these educational metthods. But thanks to this method, kids develop autonomy and self-esteem.
Can you give us a good example of problems solved thanks to Faber and Mazlish method?
One of my friends living in Germany called me one day because she as worried about her angry 7 years-old son. Chating with her, we found that there were also very good moments when her son was peaceful and quiet, but she was focusing only on bad moments. Following my advices, she tried to more enhance his positive behaviour. Then, little by little, her kid became quieter and more self-confident.
What kind of advices would you give to parents whose kids are going to school for the first time on this September?
To avoid tears and cries when you’re leaving, you may stay a little bit more to listen to them, to show that you understand their pain. Your kids will feel relieved and will beter enjoy their day at school!
Many thanks to Cecile and congratulations to her for this fabulous job!
Sweet Cabane is very proud to welcome Cecile as a collaborator : she will be in charge of a new section : ‘Take It Easy with Cecile’ that will deal with family daily problems, such as how to do help your kid doing his homework.
See you very soon,
Enjoy your day,