Take it Easy with Cécile #2 : séparation with kids

Christmas holidays are almost here… 15 days during while your kids may have to be separated from you and to go to their grandpas’s : a joy of course, but also a source of anxiety for both of you…

So here are some tips to help you separate from your kid in a soft way.

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Anticipate and talk about this separation : your child has to know why is going to go his grandpa’s. You can explain it with a few words that are meaningful, you’re not obliged to explain everything in detail. Try to explain it even when you have a toddler because even though he doesn’t speak,  he feels your own anxiety and he can understand many things.

Speak about when you will be reunited, even if your kid doesn’t have time notion. So he can know that this separation won’t last forever. For instance, for kids around 4-5 years-old, count with them the number of beddy-byes they’ll be away from you.  They will surely feel more secure.

Involve grandparents. Explain them your kid’s habits so as they can continue in the same way as you do.  Tell them also what rules you want to be respected : for instance, which cartoons he can watch, if he can eat sweets or not, and so on.  Of course, grand-parents won’t listen to everything you’re telling them, but it’s also what it’s interesting for your kid : learn that we can live in a different way than at home. It’s quite enriching for him!

Give your kid kinds of ‘homework’ to  do at their grandpa’s : small challenges, activities… For instance, I say to my kids that I expect them to help their granny with picking up autumn leaves in the garden…or to tell me the end of a book they’re reading there.

They’re very happy with these little practical things to do.

Say goodbye. Take the time to say goodbye and to welcome his emotion : explain him that it’s normal to feel sad, but that he will have a good time there. Explain also this point to his grand-parents : that they don’t have to be afraid to see that their grandchild is a bit sad at first. If your kid feels that you and his grand-parents understand him, he will surely feel better more easily.

Giving him a call… or not ? There are different opinions about this. Personally, I want my kids to know that I will call them everyday, so as they can talk to me if they feel to. . At the beginning, they want to talk to me everyday, but as time’s passing, they just say ‘hello’…

One advice : call your kid in the morning or at the midday, not during the evening, where anxiety is bigger…

« Take it easy »  Now, it’s also your turn to take advantage of this situation : don’t blame you and feel relaxed… What about going to the restaurant with friends? Or going to the cinema?  Take some time for yourself before being reunited with your kid…

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I truly hope these tips will help you…

Have great Christmas hoilidays,

Cécile x.

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